I have recently been experiencing quite a free-flowing expression with my writing: without any effort, the words just seem to come out of me when I sit still and allow it. So, it was with a bit of surprise that I found myself sitting here with nothing really coming through me to share.
All too often in my life I have put so much pressure on myself to constantly be doing something to prove my worth to others and especially to myself, whether that be through sporting achievements, pushing myself at work, needing to get involved in other people’s problems, and even feeling like I need to always say something to offer something more during gaps of silence in a conversation. In essence, I was saying to myself, “You are not enough, you need to do more, more, more.”
But living under that belief actually contracts us and leads to so much exhaustion and unsettlement in our bodies when we are like a dog chasing its tail in an attempt to fill our days with activities that we feel we need to do in order to feel good about ourselves. Looking for relief by the tactic of ‘checking off the boxes’ on my to-do list has never resulted in any true sense of completion or contentment at the end of the day, but on the contrary has usually resulted in an attempt to fit in and add more things to do, well after my body was telling me it needed to go to bed.
Only after coming to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon – and especially his book ‘Space’ in the trilogy of ‘Time, Space and all of us’ –have I come to a deep appreciation for all that these teachings offer.
But when we stay in a state of constant motion (both in our minds and through our bodies) and try to pack as many things into our day as possible out of a lack of self-worth, it compresses the particles in our body and does not allow us to tap into the space that could otherwise have given us the understanding or realisations that we needed to live our day with true purpose and in service without any need to do more to feel enough.
Have you ever been in a situation where you found yourself over-reacting to what someone said or you felt like you needed to jump in and ‘add your two cents’ to the conversation out of a fear that others might perceive you as not being competent or knowledgeable enough? I know I have! But I have recently noticed how when I just hold everyone with a sense of understanding and compassion, and instead sit quietly if nothing is coming to me anyways to express, this is all that is needed and in fact says a lot by offering a reflection of stillness to other people, especially if they are behaving in a way that is not in line with their true nature.
As I previously mentioned, in the past, if there were any gaps of silence in a conversation I was having with someone, out of a feeling of anxiousness I would want to fill these gaps with more talking. In retrospect, what I had to say in those instances was really not needed and just random filler or ‘small talk,’ which never helps anyone gain a greater understanding or connection with each other. And another thing I have noticed is how being with someone in silence sometimes allows the space that is needed for one or a group to come to a deeper realisation or feeling to share, by talking in a way that you are truly listening to the other person instead of merely waiting for them to be finished so you can say what you wanted to say.
Even the cadence of our speech, where we allow ourselves to communicate patiently without rushing, can be felt as a deeper settlement and easiness in our bodies that is then passed on to the recipient of our words. I would say this can also be sensed in people’s writing, as evidenced by the frenetic way many people text each other. You can sometimes palpably feel the anxiousness and tension coming through the text in these situations, when people are scrambling to type a mile a minute and are not connecting to what their body wants to express, but only communicating through various mental ideals or beliefs.